Robert Englund, scarred face, stripy jumper dragging razor blade fingers maliciously across a wall is still one of the scariest images of my childhood. If you grew up in the 80's then the sight of Freddie Krueger could well be enough to send you scurrying into a corner to curl up into a ball and gibber something about dreams not being real. A Nightmare on Elm Street is, let’s face it a proper horror classic. I was so scared the first time I watched it that I woke my brother up, terrified for his life, when he was twitching in his sleep (turns out he was not being stalked by a disfigured psycho in case anyone is interested). I'm not ashamed to say that I heard that haunting song in my head for months afterwards (one two Freddie's coming for you, three four better lock your door...)
The original film, released in 1984 told the story of a group of high school kids being stalked and murdered in their sleep by a mysterious stranger with a burned face and razor blades for fingers. The only way the kids could avoid a grim death was to stay awake so that the dream monster could not get to them. 26 years later and a whole new set of pretty by dim teens must struggle to stay awake.
The first thing I noticed about this film, along with any other released in living memory is that the characters are very good looking. If America was even 10% as attractive as movies make out then no one needs to go on a diet there! Where are all the normal looking people? Even the pointless extras sitting in the diner at the beginning would look like Greek gods if they walked down the street in any British city. People would fall at their feet and weep at the beauty of the average Hollywood extra in any part of the British Isles. Also, as with many new films this has a certain slickness, a quality of production that tells us money has been spent here. This does more harm than good to most horror films for me. Especially so to a film such as this where our memories are filled with fear from the original, but clouded with doubt over the remake.
Freddie is introduced to us in a good opening scene. He appears behind his first would be victim twitching that iconic razor gloved hand, dragging out a haunting sound as metal caresses metal. Then he opens his mouth. Much like a hot woman in Hollyoaks that starts to talk and sounds like an alcoholic truck driver, the illusion is ruined. Too much of this film feels like a smooth imitation of the original. Several scenes try to copy/pay homage to scenes of pure creepiness that would have stuck in your mind as a child watching this for the first time. Yet all they succeed in doing is making the source material feel childish and really diminish the impact you would have felt first time around.
One particular scene that really stuck with me involved a girl being dragged around the ceiling, Freddy’s claw through her stomach, leaving a bloody trail in her wake. This version tries to recreate it when one of the characters is thrown about her bedroom by the monster as her horrified bloke looks on. The result is a poor copy of a scene far more terrifying, achieved with a fraction of the budget and none of the technology. Any chills the audience might feel are created by the story and images of Freddie, none of which are exactly new or even great interpretations of the original material.
It is no horror classic but it is a decent remake because it is based on good material. As the saying goes you can't reinvent the wheel, but you would be a bloody idiot to not be able to copy it. The biggest question that entered my mind as I watched this was how much money will it make? During an hour and a half where no effort is made add to the original that is one of the few things I had to think about. Why bother to make a film with something new to show us when you could just copy one that has already been done and achieve the same result? Have I already something very similar during this blog, repeating my thoughts on this topic in a very familiar way to what I have said before?? F**k it, if you can't beat 'em you might as well join 'em!
4/10
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